


A world where it is safe to love

by i_dreamthedream



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Established Relationship, Fluff, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-09 08:27:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13477593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_dreamthedream/pseuds/i_dreamthedream
Summary: "John gets out of bed, fetches his boxers and pants on the floor. He hesitates. It’s far from the first time he sleeps at Eliza’s but it’s always a little awkward when he wakes up and Alex is already gone to either one of his morning classes or to the library. He’s never sure if it’s rude to leave without breakfast."Or John remembers the past, worries about the future but ultimately decides to enjoy the present





	A world where it is safe to love

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> Got my keyboard fixed and decided to work on this instead of writing internship letters! Oops... Anyway this is just 3k of John and Eliza and a lot of cuddles! 
> 
> Enjoy!

When he regains consciousness, John immediately knows he’s not in his bed. The sheets beneath him are too soft, they’ve been washed recently and they smell good. This is his first clue. As he becomes progressively more aware of his surroundings, his hypothesis is confirmed. The birds are chirping by the window, he registers the smell of pancakes from somewhere in the apartment and the sounds of someone next to him on the bed.

He blinks, fights the attacks of the morning sun and wipes the drool off his mouth.

“Good morning sunshine,” Eliza says in singsong.

John grunts, his brain not yet working properly. Eliza huffs a laugh and goes back to the book in her hands. It’s a textbook, John’s pretty sure and gets a confirmation when she picks up a pen somewhere on the bed to write in the margins.

She puts the pen back and John squints, follows the movement of her hand and focuses on the t-shirt she’s wearing. It’s not a great shirt, definitively too big for her. It’s old, that much is sure and well worn. The grey is plain and the design on the front has almost faded. But John knows what it reads because _he_ bought this shirt. It’s his old Star Trek shirt, one of the first Alex has stolen from him when they started dating. That means Eliza took it from Alex at some point. John isn’t sure what the churning in his chest in reaction means.

The first time Alex wore something of his was after their first night together. John had been up for a few hours, enjoying the bliss of having nothing to do on a Saturday morning. When Alex finally emerged from his bedroom, he zombie-walked toward the pot of coffee. John had been so distracted by the little expressions on the other man’s face that he didn’t realize that Alex was wearing some of his clothes. He remembers the heat pooling down his stomach and the need to kiss Alex was so strong he gave in, because they were dating now – cleared that up the night before over ice cream – and so there was no reasons not to.

When he and Alexander met Eliza, things became complicated. John wasn’t blind. He could see the way Eliza looked at Alex and more importantly he could see the way his boyfriend looked at her. John remembers the anger and confusion of those weeks when he thought he would lose his first love. Except he didn’t.

Polyamory was brought up. It was Alexander’s idea because he was nothing but pragmatic. He was also aware of his growing attraction toward Eliza and of the effects it had on John. He didn’t want to hurt John and he would never cheat on him. Still he couldn’t deny the chemistry between Eliza and him and that was something he was curious to explore. The idea of an open relationship could solve those issues if all parties agreed to it.

The three of them sat down to talk and define the parameters of their relationship. John had done his research beforehand, reading about everything he could find on the subject from sociology papers to news articles and personal testimonies. His readings had lead him to one simple conclusion: while he was ok to share Alex with Eliza, it was as much as he was willing to share. Alexander’s relationships would have to remain clearly separated. It wasn’t like he never wanted to see Eliza, she and her sisters were now a big part of their friends’ group but he didn’t want to date her or to be involved in Alexander’s other relationship.

John gets out of bed, fetches his boxers and pants on the floor. He hesitates. It’s far from the first time he sleeps at Eliza’s but it’s always a little awkward when he wakes up and Alex is already gone to either one of his morning classes or to the library. He’s never sure if it’s rude to leave without breakfast. She either senses his inner struggle or is just to engross in her work to notice how he is standing stiff halfway toward her bedroom door, but in any case Eliza solves his dilemma: “Do me a favor and bring me some coffee? Help yourself with the pancakes, by the way!”

So John goes to the kitchen. The churning comes back when he realizes that he has no problem to localize the items he needs. It’s strange that he knows where the cutlery drawer is and that he pours the coffee inside what he knows to be Eliza’s favorite mug, the one Peggy got her last year. He smiles at the pictures adorning the walls, most of them featuring members of the Schuyler family or their little group of friends. There’s one of the three of them, Alex hunched back from laughter while Eliza and John are unsuccessfully trying to smooth their amusement.

The quality of the picture is good, especially since John is pretty sure it was taken from Hercules’ phone. He doesn’t remember what was so funny but he does remember that night. It was Alexander’s birthday, they were at John’s and more than anything else John remembers the look on his boyfriend’s face when everyone else was gone but Eliza had remained.

John and Eliza had discussed that surprise at length beforehand. Alex had been making jokes – not always so subtly – about a threesome ever since he had started dating both of them. The idea had distraught John at first. He was gay, had never been attracted to a woman in his life and the only time he had tried to have sex with one anyway had been a horrible disaster. So he had firmly shut down the idea every time it was brought up. But as their arrangement had been going on for more than a year, he could think about it with a little more perspective. John and Eliza occupying a bed with Alexander at the same time did not mean that he and Eliza would have to touch each other. And once the two of them had agreed to this, John didn’t have any other objections.

So the two of them took Alexander to bed that night for a special celebration.

Alex had been delighted the next day. John had more fun than he’d thought. But then again, he loved Alex fiercely and was extremely attracted to him. He couldn’t deny that he felt closer to Eliza after it too, more willing to make room for her in his life. It helped that Eliza was both very sweet and didn’t mind the lingering awkwardness of the first few times they hung out together without Alex. They found common interests, some deeply personal – how much they loved the arts and how important it was to them – and others freakishly mundane – lemon pie was definitively better than pumpkin and _oh god Alex likes pumpkin better he’s so weird right?_

There have been more threesomes too since Alex was more than eager and the two of them were more than willing. The first few times, John and Eliza would always discuss it, plan it so they’d avoid discomfort. Alex was put off that he wasn’t allowed to participate but, “As shocking as it may seem to you dear,” Eliza had said, “this is not about you at all.” After a while though and waking up in Eliza’s bed a dozen times, John felt quite comfortable with her. In fact, some things he’d been strongly against at first he was now enjoying. In the end, they came up with a checklist of _‘hard no’s’_ and a safe-word for sex and things were going great since then.

He pours himself a cup of coffee, takes out a plate for his pancakes and retrieves a tray once he realizes he only has two hands. He brings the food back into the bedroom and carefully maneuvers them onto the bed. Eliza smiles up at him. She sips her coffee as John sits back against the headboard. His eyes dart toward the textbook where the pages are almost covered by highlighters and handmade notes.

“Midterms comin’ up?”

“More like they’re kicking my ass!” Eliza groans.

John chuckles. He’s taking a gap year to work at the aquarium before graduating next year and he wildly appreciates the lack of written exams.

“At least that means it’s almost break,” he says. “You going back to Albany for Thanksgiving?”

Eliza nods. “Peggy is bringing her girlfriend. Angie is hoping that it’ll distract Dad from the fact that Church didn’t ask for his blessing before proposing.”

“Is your father really that old school?”

John knows a good deal about traditional fathers. Henry Laurens is far from the most progressive person but he had reacted okay to John coming out. Was it awkward as hell? Sure but at least he told John that it didn’t change a thing between them. If John was honest, it probably brought them closer as Henry made a real effort to be considerate about his words toward his eldest. And then the first time Henry met Alexander, they had the decency to argue about taxes and not anything else. The idea of Philip Schuyler being more conservative than his Dad seems absurd.

“Not really,” Eliza shrugs. “He never liked Church. Now he’s glad that he can justify it I think. But then again if Church thought he needed our father’s approval to marry her, then he really shouldn’t be marrying Angelica!”

“True,” John agrees. He doesn’t know the eldest Schuyler sister very well but he knows nobody is the boss of her. Not her fiancé and certainly not her father. She’s currently working as a Congress representative’s assistant and terrorizing half of the members of the Republican Party. John would honestly not be surprised to see her in the Oval Office one day. He’s sure she wouldn’t settle for anything less.

“What about you?” Eliza asks. “You going home for Thanksgiving?”

John shakes his head. “Most of my siblings are going to their significant other’s this year so that means we’re doing Christmas at the mansion. So Dad says he wants to fly here with Ellie instead.”

“That’s nice,” Eliza says.

John hums but doesn’t continue the conversation so Eliza goes back to studying. He chews on his pancakes, careful not to spill anything on the bed.

Their talk got him thinking. What is Alex doing for Thanksgiving? He’d gone to Albany last year because Henry had flown all his children to Switzerland to visit Jemmy. It had been easier, also because it was the first holiday since Eliza entered the relationship so John didn’t think much about it. Now though, the reality of their situation is making itself quite clear. He hasn’t told his family about their open-relationship and he doesn’t think Eliza has either. Should they negotiate holidays like they did for date nights? Does Alex spend Thanksgiving with one of them and Christmas with the other and the other way around next year? And if so how long can it last?

How long until their parents start to ask questions? What will Henry says if he finds out? What will Senator Schuyler?

And even if they don’t find out, how long until Eliza’s father pushes Alex to make their relationship official? He likes him, this much is clear from the way Alexander talks about the man and how they sometimes talk about politics. John knows Schuyler has introduced Alex to a few influent people, people whose phone numbers he has graciously collected and then bragged about it. His boyfriend is apparently like a fish in the sea in Philip Schuyler’s circle so why wouldn’t he want to be a part of it? And if so, why wouldn’t he want to marry Eliza?

John has a fair idea of Alexander’s opinion on marriage. Then again, John knows most of Alexander’s Opinions™ because the man wears them on his sleeve. Besides his dubious taste in pie, Hamilton believes in a strong banking system is absolutely necessary to the functioning of democracy, that the USA are in great need of real gun-regulating laws and that Gandalf is the best character in the Tolkien universe. Marriage is like any subject related to living, which meant that Alex has a strong and definitive opinion about it. It is an incredibly intricate one too because God forbid Alexander Hamilton has a simple opinion on anything! To Alex, it was an outdated institution that was only relevant nowadays in terms of paperwork and taxes. Since he wasn’t religious, Alex had no consideration of the sanctity of the wedding vows. Therefore John could totally see Alex and Eliza married with Alex still dating him and have no problem of conscience.

But as much as John wanted to think of himself as liberal and open-minded; he knows himself well enough to know that this he wouldn’t be able to do. John has received a religious education – his Mom was a proud catholic – but he doesn’t think that’s the heart of the matter.

When they discussed it for the first time, one thing they all agreed upon was that none of Alexander’s relationships was more important than the other. And even though Alex (and maybe Eliza, John didn’t know) might think that marriage was just a piece of paper, John just doesn’t feel comfortable being relegated to _the other man_ part in Alexander’s life. It’s not like he wants to marry Alexander either. Even if she agrees to it, as long as Eliza is part of this relationship, John would not put her in a position he wouldn’t wish for himself. Since no State seems ready to change marriage law to accommodate polyamorous couples, John just doesn’t imagine being married. And right before he started thinking about the fact that his partners might want to marry each other, John has been living happily with that idea.

Before he can dwell on how their relationship now certainly has an expiration date, Eliza stretches. Her body goes limp beside him and the dip of the mattress brings him closer. She dumps the papers and the textbook on the floor and tries to retrieve her laptop without getting out of bed. Doing so, her legs end up on John’s lap. He instinctively grabs her ankles because her balance seems precarious at best.

“Got it!” she says victoriously.

Getting her upper body back to bed is another prowess of equilibrium, which ultimately leads with her landing mostly on top of John with an _ooff_ sound. She chuckles, so carefree that John has to smile no matter what he was thinking a moment ago.

“I need a break,” she decides. “You’re not working today right?”

He shakes his head. There’s the churning again and he is not sure if it’s because she’s so close he can feel her exhale on his face or because she seems to remember his work schedule.

“How do you feel ‘bout Netflix and cuddling then?”

John raises an eyebrow. This is not what they do. It’s true they’re close now. One might say they’re friend though it’s probably not a fair description. After all, even if they talk about Van Gogh and share a passion for Gene Kelly movies, they also do go on dates together with their boyfriend and have sex afterward. Normal friendships usually don’t go that far. Still they watch movie together sometimes. It’s just they usually do that on the couch and fully clothed, not on her bed while John is shirtless and _Eliza is still wearing his Star Trek tee!_

“Depends,” he finds himself saying. “Do I get to pick?”

“Surprise me turtle man!”

She hands him the computer. John opens Netflix and flicks through his queue distracted as he is by Eliza’s head on his shoulder. He pointedly decides _not_ to think about the fact that the three of them share a fucking account on the site.

“So what will it be?” Eliza asks.

John can feel the sound of her voice vibrates on his torso. She is curled on his side, not overly clingy or anything. Just _there,_ real and concrete and close in a way the two of them never have been. John thinks that he was less nervous the first time they all had sex together. He feels more exposed now. Somehow this level of intimacy seems raw, more than just the sex. He could deal with sexual intimacy. He’s not sure he can deal with this.

“I’m in the mood for comedy,” John answers eventually. “The Trevor Noah special?”

“Sure, if you want!” Eliza smiles.

John is about to press play when he notices one show recommended for him. Well if that ain’t a fucking sign!

“The new Star Trek series is out,” he says slowly. “I’ve been meaning to watch it. It’s supposed to be real diverse and all…”

“I’ve only watched the new movies,” Eliza shrugs. “But Angie is a big trekkie so I should be able to follow.”

“One: I have so many questions! Two: you’ve only seen the new movies?! Seriously?”

“Don’t make fun of me!” Eliza protests, laughing.

“No seriously _how dare you?”_ John goes on. He’s obviously exaggerating even though a small part of him is sincerely outraged.

“It’s just that it was _Angie’s thing_ you know? When we grew up. And I loved and idolized my big sister but I also needed to be my own person and have my own hobbies and obsessions. That’s when _Harry Potter_ came in!”

John laughed, imagining twelve years-old Eliza running around, pointing a branch to strangers in the park while screaming _Expeliarmus_ the same way Junior used to.

“Anyway, I only saw the new ones because Angelica wanted me to go with her. Plus I thought Alex liked it because of this t-shirt I stole from him but apparently he ‘does not know what a Spock is’” she continues, gesturing down the faded Vulcan salute on her chest.

“Yeah no,” John swallows with difficulty all the sudden. He doesn’t know why he is so mortified. “It’s actually mine. The shirt I mean. Alex took it from me a few years ago.”

“Oh! Do you… want it back?”

“No it’s ok,” John says with a smile and he means it. “Looks good on you,” he adds. His cheeks feels hot so he presses play before he can further embarrass himself. He hesitates for a second but put his arms around Eliza’s frame, bringing her closer.

It is only because his arm will feel numb otherwise. Or so he tells himself.

“You know, if this is good,” Eliza says as the opening credits rolls. “I’ll be down to watch the other shows with you. This is nice.”

John hums in response.

He shouldn’t accept. An hour ago, he was pondering on this relationship’s future and he came to a conclusion. What good will it do if he spends more time with Eliza?

“Yeah that would be fun,” he hears himself answer anyway.

Because Eliza is warm and soft in his arms and she’s showing interest for John’s ultimate favorite Sci-Fi franchise. Because when they have dinner she is always careful to pick restaurants with correct vegetarian options for John and she offered him a cool turtle-related gift when he got the job at the aquarium. Because she has made a whole lot of compromises to make their relationship work and she takes care of Alexander when he is sick even if he’s the worst patient on Earth. He may be gay as hell but John thinks this is probably the closest he will ever get to being in love with a woman.

So John may be wary about the future but right now, he thinks he will just enjoy the present.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a kudos or a comment and let's talk on [ Tumblr! ](http://i-dreamthedream.tumblr.com/)
> 
> PS: Go check Discovery, it's got Anthony Rapp in space!


End file.
